The Way to Peace in The Workplace

A lesson for the workplace. Elder Thaddeus (1914 - 2003) is another modern day holy person who teaches the Way of Love.  He gives us a very practical example that applies to many of us today.

I often remember the story of Sister J. ... Once she came together with an organized group of pilgrims, and complained, saying, 'I cannot bear this any longer!  People are so unkind to each other!’  She went on to say that she was going to look for another job.  I advised her against it, as there were few jobs and a high level of unemployment.  I told her to stop the war she was fighting with her colleagues. 'But I am not fighting with anyone!’ she said.  I explained that, although she was not fighting them physically, she was waging war on her colleagues with her thoughts, by being dissatisfied with her position.

She argued that it [i.e., her work situation] was beyond anyone's endurance.  'Of course it is,' I told her, 'but you can't do it yourself.  You need God's help.  No one knows whether you are praying or not while you are at work.  So, when they start offending you, do not return their offenses --- either with words or with negative thoughts. Try not to offend them even in your thoughts; pray to God that He may send them an angel of peace.  Also ask that He not forget you.  You will not be able to do this immediately.  However, if you always pray like that, you will see how things will change over time, and how people will change as well.  In fact, you too are going to change.’

At that time, I did not know whether she was going to heed my advice.  This happened in the Tumane Monastery in 1980.  In 1981, I was sent to the Vitovnica Monastery.  I was standing underneath the quince tree, when I noticed a group of pilgrims that had arrived.  She was in the group, and she came up to me to receive a blessing.  And this is what she said to me, 'O Father, I had no idea people were so good.'  I asked her whether she was referring to her colleagues at work, and she said she was.  'They have changed so much, Father, it’s unbelievable!  No one offends me anymore, and I can see the change in myself as well.'

If there were just one such person in every company, factory or office!  That would be the way toward peace.  Only one person, who is prayerfully connected to God, is needed; and we will have peace everywhere --- in the family, at work, in the government, and everywhere.  It is in the presence of such a person that we are freed from gloomy and cumbersome thoughts.

Reference: Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives: The Life and Teachings of  Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica,  pp 93 - 94

How to Influence Others With Love

Meekness and graciousness are terms to apply to one who practices the Way of Love. To influence others we must show great consideration for the opinions of others. We have to listen with understanding and compassion.  We have to demonstrate we understand the other person's viewpoint and we care.  Listen, listen, listen.  Do not attack or condemn in any way. Seek to know their environment and situation. Ask yourself, "Why is it they think this way?" Think about how you can help nurture their soul and then say it simply with love.

Here is how Elder Porpyrios puts its,

In debates, if you say a few words about religion you will prevail. Let the person who has a different opinion give free reign to his thoughts and speak as much as he likes… Let him sense that he is addressing himself to a calm and uncontentious person. Influence him though your graciousness and prayer and then speak briefly. You achieve nothing if you speak heatedly and tell him, for example, ‘What you are saying is untrue, a downright lie!’ What will you achieve? Be ‘as sheep among wolves’ (Matt 10:16). What should you do? Show indifference outwardly, but be praying inwardly. Be prepared, know what you are talking about and speak boldly and to the point, but with saintliness, meekness and prayer. But in order to be able to do this you must become a saint. 

This last thought is an important one: 
“To be able to do this you must become a saint.”  Ask yourself, "How do I become a saint?"

Reference: Wounded by Love, p 188

To Love Christ is to Be a Zealot but Not Fanatical

Elder Porpyrios asks us all to become zealots. He says, 

A zealot is a person who loves Christ with all his soul and who serves his fellow men in Christ’s name. Love for God and for our neighbor; they go together and cannot be divorced. Passion, yearning and tears along with contrition, not for a purpose, but all as an overflowing of the heart! 

This idea of being a zealot has nothing to do with being fanatical. It’s about being a true Christian who withholds quick judgments about others and initially responds always with love. This applies to those of other religions. It seems in todays internet environment it is common to condemn almost anyone. Orthodox attack Muslims and even Catholics. And the political dialogue is outrageous and filled with hatred often spewed by clergy. The Elder teaches to always be respectful of others and react with love. This often involves our silence.

He says, 

Even to a person of another religion you will always act as a Christian. that is to say, you will show respect for him in a gracious manner irrespective of his religion. You will care for a Muslim when he is in need, speak to him and keep company with him. There must be respect for the freedom of the other person. Just as Christ ‘stands at the door and knocks’ ( Rev 3:20) and does not force an entry, but waits for the soul to accept Him freely on its own, so we should stand in the the same way in relation to every soul. 

Reference: Wounded By Love, pp 186-187

Spread Love Without Expecting Any Return

Love must be unconditional. We should not expect to gain anything from our love of God or others.

Elder Porphyrios tells us that God shows us what unconditional love is. 

Love needs to be sincere. And only the love of God is sincere love. To a person whom we find tiresome and troublesome, love needs to be offered in a subtle manner without the person being aware that we are striving to love him. It shouldn’t be given much outward expression, because then the person will react. Silence saves us from all evils. Restraint of the tongue is a great thing. In a mystical way silence radiates out to our neighbor. 

So often our good intention seem to cause further conflict. Try patience, silence and a smile. Overcoming troublesome relationships takes time. It's a matter of the heart and our rational discourse is frequently not useful. Kindness, a smile and stillness or calmness in a person’s presence can break down barriers that seem insurmountable.


The Elder advises, 

We, with our love, with our fervent desire for the love of God, will attract grace so that it washes over those around us and awakens them to divine love. 

Our focus must always be on our love of Christ. This is the condition for His grace to flow though us.

He says, 

To benefit others you must live in the love of God, otherwise you are unable to do good to your fellowman. You mustn't pressurize the other person. His time will come, as long as you pray for him. With silence, tolerance and above all by prayer we benefit others in a mystical way. 

Reference: Wounded by Love, pp 184-186

Saint Symeon the New Theologian: Love for Others - We are One

This message from Saint Symeon the New Theologian was hanging on the cell wall of Elder Porphyrios . He would hand out a copy of this to his guests. Elder Porphyrios consistently taught that we should love others as if we see them as ourselves .

We need to regard all the faithful as one and think that each one of them is Christ. We need to have such love for each individual that we are ready to sacrifice our very life for him. Because we ought never to say or think that any person is evil, but rather to regard all as good. And if you see a brother troubled by passions, do not hate him. Hate rather the passions that are assailing him. And if you see that he is being tormented by desires and habits from former sins, have even greater compassion on him, lest you also fall into temptation, since you are made of matter that easily turns from good to evil. Love for your brother prepares you to love God more. Accordingly, the secret of love for God is love for your brother. Because if you don’t love your brother whom you see, how can you possible love God whom you don’t see?

“He who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not see?” (1 John 4:20) 

Words of Saint Symeon the New Theologian interspersed with Elder Porphyrios’s own words from One Hundred Theological and Practical Chapters, of Saint Symeon. 




Reference: Wounded By Love, p 183 - 184

How Can We Love When Someone Harms Us?

First, we should never expect others to speak to us politely. This expectation is an ego-centric trait of ours. We need to let other speak as they wish . Elder Porphyrios says, “we shouldn’t become beggars for love. Our aim should be to love them and pray for them with all our soul.”

But what do we do when someone injures us with slanders or insults. This is a difficult teaching. Here is how Elder Porphyrios approaches it. 

When someone injures us in whatever way, whether with slander or with insults, we should think of him as our brother who has been taken hold of by the enemy…. We need to have compassion for him and entreat God to have mercy both on us and on him… A person who condemns others does not love Christ. Our egoism is at fault. 

He gives us an example: 

Let’s suppose someone is all alone in the desert. Suddenly he hears a voice crying out in distress in the distance. He follows the sound and is confronted by a horrendous sight: a tiger has grabbed hold of a man and is savaging him with his claws. The man is desperately shouting for help. In a few minutes he will be torn to pieces. What can the person do to help? Can he run to his side? How? It is impossible. Can he shout for help? Who will hear him? There is no one within earshot. Should he perhaps pick up a stone and throw it at the man to finish him off? Certainly not, we would say. But that is exactly what can happen if we don’t realize that the other person who is acting badly towards us has been taken hold of by a tiger, the devil. We fail to realize that when we react to such a person without love it is as if we are throwing stones at his wounds and accordingly we are doing him great harm and the “tiger” leaps onto us and we to the same as him and worse. What kind of love do we have then for our neighbor and even more importantly, for God?.. We should regard our brethren with sympathy and behave with courtesy towards them, repeating in our hearts with simplicity the prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ,” so that the grace of God may strengthen our soul and so that we don't pass judgment on anyone.

Our task when we are injured and we see an vice in another person is to inundate him or her with the grace of God and have the upmost compassion so he or she may be healed. 

In everything, do to others what you would want them to do to you. This is what is written in the Law and in the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12) 

Reference: Wounded By Love, pp 182 - 183

Love of Neighbor Leads us Closer to God and Love of God Leads us Closer to Love of Our Neighbor

Saint Dorotheos of Gaza quoting Scripture says, "as it is said, 'Love covers up a multitude of sins', and again 'Love thinks no evil...hides everything.'  He tells us that if we want to be saved we must not look at the shortcomings of our neighbor, but have compassion on them and think only of our own shortcomings and how to eliminate them. This is how we love God and come closer to Him.  He then gives us an example from the Fathers.

Suppose now I were to take a compass and insert the point and draw the outline of a circle.  The center point is the same distance from any point on the circumference. Now concentrate your minds on what is to be said! Let us suppose that this circle is the world and that God himself is the center; the straight lines drawn from the circumference to the center are the lives of men.  To the degree that the saints enter into the things of the spirit, they desire to come near to God; and in proportion to their progress is the things of the spirit, they do in fact come close to God and to their neighbor.  The closer they are to God, the closer they become to one another; and the closer they are to one another, the closer they become to God. Now consider in the same context the question of separation; for when they stand away from God and turn to external things, it is clear that the more they recede and become distant from God,the more the become distant from one another. See!  This is the very nature of love.  The more we are turned away from and do not love God, the greater the distance that separates us from our neighbor.  If we were to love God more, we should be closer to God, and through love of him we should be closer to God, and through love of Him we should be more united in love to our neighbor; and the more we are united to our neighbor the more we are united to God.  

Love is the essence of a Christian life.  Elder Porphyrios is a modern day saint who emphasizes the fundamental nature of of love in our spiritual development.  Any time we cannot love another person we cannot love God.  As we come loser to loving every person, the closer we are to God.  The more we love God the more we will love our neighbor.  This is the main spiritual rule that Jesus has given us in His universal commandments to love God with all our hearts and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Reference: Dorotheos of Gaza: Discourses and Sayings, pp 138 - 139