I was trained as an engineer so I have an orientation to viewing things from a logical and scientific perspective. But this view often causes anxiety and gives me difficulty in my spiritual life. When I try to apply logic and science to an event we might call a miracle, I am easily confused. The spiritual reality of the event is lost. My mind tries to take an miraculous event like Lazarus' return to life and seek to develop rational scenarios in which he might not have been dead, but only subdued with some drug or herb, or something else that would give a rational explanation about how Jesus could raise Him from the dead.
I have found that when I am able to let go of this rational approach, a whole new world opens up. Scripture takes on a whole new meaning. Spirit is revealed. The saints and angels come and interact with us, miracles become realities. All becomes different.
Elder Paisios says,
The mysteries of God will be impossible to know and will appear strange and contrary to nature as long as we don't overturn our secular mindset and see everything with spiritual eyes. Those who believe that they can come to know God's mysteries through mere scientific theory, without spiritual life, resemble a fool who thinks he can look through a telescope and see Paradise.Too often I am this fool. For many, overcoming our addiction to rationalism or scientism presents a great challenge. The secular world view in these times is based on rationalism and scientism. How do we overcome this tendency to allow our rational mind to dominate and blot out everything spiritual?
While I have not completely overcome this disability, here are some of the approaches that have helped me.
Bible Study: When reading Holy Scripture do not try and analyze it. Let the words enter your heart instead of your mind. Read it prayerfully and reflectively with the assumption that its words contain knowledge that will lift you beyond what your rational mind can ever figure out. See Scripture as your Divine teacher. As soon as you begin to analyze, looking up the Greek words, seeking archaeological evidence, checking parallels with history, searching for academic Biblical scholars' explanations, you will never allow Scripture to teach you. You will aways be trying to figure it out with your rational mind. When you assume that you cannot understand it fully with your rational mind, then you will become a learner of spiritual truths. Then you will allow your heart to be opened and your soul to be nurtured. When you come to a passage you can't understand, do not discount it or judge it, but only say to yourself, "I am not yet ready to understand this." Pray that God may reveal this to you at some time in the future and continue reading thinking that the Scripture is my teacher, not my mind. You will find that Scripture begins to talk with you in a new way. You are giving it the authority it deserves, as the Word of God, to become a powerful teacher about Spirit.
Prayer: This is a big one. For a long time I thought of prayer as a discipline, a way to gain control over my mind and its ability to rapidly generate thoughts, or as an obligation. I tried hard. I would increase my time in prayer with great effort. It was again my rational mind acting to stay in control, a form of pride. Then I began to realize that this was not leading me to a relationship with God that I desired. God did not seem to be listening to my prayers. I would struggle to find time to pray. Then one day my spiritual father said to me after I explained to him my difficulty in prayer, "Why are you so self-centered." That's all he said. I immediately thought, "Who me, self-centered?" I began to think about what He meant. Then I remembered he also said that Christ needs to be at the center of everything. "What did this mean," I pondered. In the Jesus prayer it is supposed to be a prayer of the heart and using my rational mind I would force my mind with great effort to focus itself on the heart. I was expecting some bright light to descend from above. Suddenly it dawned on me that Christ, the Light of Light, was already within me. He dwells in my heart. I receive Him into my being every time I participate in Holy Communion. Realizing this inner presence, My mind suddenly let go. My prayer was now in the heart where Christ abides. My mind was at peace. There was a sense of real communion with God. There were no flashing lights, only peace. He is now with me all the time whenever I stop and let go of my rational mind. It's not that I lose control, but I gain a different kind of control, one that is based on surrender to Spirit.
Saint Paisios says,
"When the mind enters the heart and the two work together, our work is not anymore the work of logic and reason. Sound reasoning is a gift. But this gift must be restored and sanctified."Divine Liturgy: This is another place where I found you can experience a great change when you let go of your rational mind's control. When we enter with the Gospel book there is a prayer read that calls for the heavenly realm to join us. It reads: "O Master, Lord our God, Who has appointed in Heaven legions and Hosts of Angels and Archangels for the service of Thy Glory, grant that with our entrance there may be an entrance of Holy Angels serving with us and glorifying Thy goodness..." Here in the procession we are joined with all the angels and begin to prepare for the ultimate gift, Christ Himself, His Body and Blood, which will shortly be offered to us. To fully participate in the Divine Liturgy you have to accept the idea that invisible beings are real and then Spirit will make them appear as a reality to you. They are part of God's created reality and are especially present with us during the Divine Liturgy. Allow them to enter your presence as you worship and they will nurture your spirit and your soul will be filled with delight.
Daily Life: Learn that you do not have to feel you have to plan everything or explain everything. With the right attitude you will find there are miracles happening all the time. Don't let your mind fool you, telling you this is not true.
Saint Paisios tells us,
If we try and solve problems using nothing else but our logic, we will end up quite confused. In each and every one of our actions, God must take the lead. Everything we do we must do trusting God, for otherwise we will be full of anxiety, our mind will get overwhelmed and our soul will be miserable.This is a lesson that has taken me many years to learn and I still struggle to let go and not try to find a rational or scientific explanation for everything. But knowing the right way to balance rational thought with Spirit I can catch myself and seek His help, putting my full trust in Him instead of my own intellect. This is when Christ becomes the center of my life.