Simple Guide for Preparing for Confession

God calls us to adhere to His commandments, yet our journey is often marked by moments when we fall short. This shortfall is what we understand as sin. The parable of the Prodigal Son beautifully illustrates that God's mercy knows no bounds for those who confess their mistakes and seek to transform their thoughts and actions. He is not waiting to punish us; rather, He desires to draw us closer through repentance.

To reflect on our lives in light of God's teachings, consider evaluating your actions and thoughts. Identify the predominant passion driving your sins and focus on this as you strive for change.

Once you've prepared a list of confessions, gather the courage to approach a priest for the sacrament of Holy Confession.

For further insight, we invite you to watch a video lesson from our online catechism class, available at https://www.catechism-orthodox.church/lesson-15.

Simple Guide for preparing for Confession:

20 Commandments:

Love God and Love Your Neighbor (Matthew 22:37-39)

Forgiveness (Matthew 6:14)

Humility (Matthew 20:26-27)

Compassion and Mercy (Matthew 5:7)

Generosity (Matthew 5:42)

Truthfulness (Matthew 5:37)

Non-Judgment (Matthew 7:1)

Faith (Matthew 17:20)

Repentance (Matthew 4:17)

Perseverance (Matthew 24:13)

Turn the other cheek when someone strikes you (Matthew 5:39).

Do good to those who hate you (Matthew 5:44).

Pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44).

Store up treasures in heaven, not on earth (Matthew 6:19-20).

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33).

Do not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34).

Do not swear oaths (Matthew 5:33-37).

Love your enemies (Matthew 5:44).

Avoid anger and reconcile with others (Matthew 5:21-26).

Do not covet or be greedy (Luke 12:15).

Link to 1,050 Commands 
https://www.abc.net.au/reslib/201407/r1308729_17984331.pdf

Study the Sermon on the Mount: Matthew 5-7

Prepare for Confession: Make list with two columns: first, Commandments - second, where you missed the mark. Seek the underlying sinful tendency and determine how with God’s help you can make changes in your thinking and action. Identify one to focus on. Make appointment for confession now - don’t wait until the end of Lent and don’t expect your spiritual father to be available during Holy Week.

How Can We Identify Weaknesses that Lead us to Sin?

Understanding our weaknesses that often lead us to sin is crucial, but all too frequently, we are blind to these flaws. This recognition requires introspection and an earnest desire to identify both your strengths and weaknesses. This is a task that demands tranquility and solitude. Find a quiet place where you can reflect and pray. Begin by asking the Holy Spirit to illuminate your understanding.

Remember, everyone has weaknesses similar to yours. As you identify your weaknesses you will make significant strides in your spiritual journey. It's important not to let feelings of despair creep in. You may grapple with feelings of worthlessness in God's eyes, but as you identify and overcome these issues, you'll gain confidence experiencing God’s Love. We are never wholly worthy in God's sight. God calls us to become perfect, but is joyful knowing you are continually working toward this aim out of your love of Him. Perfecting ourselves to become more Christ-like is a lifelong endeavor called Theosis.

If you find it difficult to identify any obvious weakness, consider the traits you criticize in others. What you dislike in them is likely a reflection of what lurks within your own soul. Such insights may provide vital clues about your path.

While you sit in quiet reflection, review the guidelines for living provided by Jesus in Scripture. It's especially beneficial to study the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) where Jesus expands on the Ten Commandments' demands (Exodus 20:1-17). I have provided specific verses for your reflection from both sections below. There are other Scripture verses you can use as well.

A helpful way to engage in this self-discovery process is to make a list. Write the behaviors outlined in Scripture in one column and in the column opposite, note down how you currently live up to each of these expectations. Don't be discouraged. Be gentle with yourself. What you're undertaking is a task God will regard with joy.

Once you've completed this, look over what you've written and identify any patterns. Ideally, you will start to recognize one primary passion or tendency that's influencing your behavior. This will be the root of your sinfulness and the first thing you should begin to address. It's important to identify one key weakness to start overcoming.

Remember, as you embark on this journey, seek divine guidance. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you. Pray for the insight you need to make necessary life changes. Go to Holy Confession and seek the advice of your spiritual father, who will welcome you with great joy knowing you're striving to make changes to please God.

This process doesn't end here. Ideally, it should become an ongoing journey of self-discovery and improvement. It's like peeling an onion; as you uncover and overcome each weakness, you'll reveal a new layer, a new set of opportunities to become more like Christ. As you continue on this path, you'll find yourself drawing closer to God. Each step will bring more grace and aid to your journey.

Here are some passages to contemplate:

A. The Ten Commandments 

These provide foundational principles for moral living. Here are the commandments with related points for self-examination:

1. You shall have no other gods before me. Reflect on whether God is truly at the center of your life, or if other "gods" (work, money, hobbies, etc.) have taken precedence.

2. You shall not make for yourself an idol. Consider if there is anything in your life that you prioritize or revere more than God.

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. Reflect on your respect for God's name in your speech and actions.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Examine your observance of the Sabbath or Sunday rest and worship.

5. Honor your father and your mother. Reflect on your relationship with your parents and if you treat them with due respect.

6. You shall not murder. This can be expanded to examine whether you harbor anger or resentment towards others.

7. You shall not commit adultery. Consider your purity in thoughts, words, and deeds, whether you're single or married.

8. You shall not steal. Reflect on your respect for others' property and rights.

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Examine your truthfulness and honesty.

10. You shall not covet. Reflect on contentment and gratitude in your life.

B. Sermon on the Mount

These are key points in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew Chapters 5-7), which could serve as points for self-examination:

1. The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12): These blessings pronounced by Jesus describe the attitudes that characterize a Christian life – humility, meekness, righteousness, mercy, purity of heart, peacemaking, and willingness to endure persecution.

2. Salt and Light (Matthew 5:13-16): Jesus calls his followers to be the "salt of the earth" and the "light of the world," to influence the world positively by their good deeds and upright character.

3. Fulfillment of the Law (Matthew 5:17-20): Jesus explains that he has come to fulfill the law, not abolish it, and exhorts his followers to pursue a righteousness that surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees.

4. Teachings on Anger, Adultery, Divorce, Oaths (Matthew 5:21-37): Jesus goes deeper into the spirit of the law, explaining that anger is as destructive as murder, lustful thoughts as adulterous as the act itself, and emphasizes the sanctity of marriage and the importance of keeping one's word.

5. Teachings on Revenge and Love for Enemies (Matthew 5:38-48): Jesus teaches the radical love of not resisting an evil person and loving one's enemies.

6. Teachings on Giving to the Needy, Prayer, and Fasting (Matthew 6:1-18): Jesus advises that acts of righteousness should not be done for show, and provides guidance on prayer (including the Lord's Prayer) and fasting.

7. Teachings on Treasures in Heaven (Matthew 6:19-24): Jesus encourages his followers to store up treasures in heaven rather than earthly wealth, and warns against serving two masters – God and money.

8. Teachings on Worry (Matthew 6:25-34): Jesus counsels against worry, teaching reliance on God who cares for all our needs.

9. Judging Others (Matthew 7:1-6): Jesus warns against judging others while ignoring our own faults.

10. Ask, Seek, Knock (Matthew 7:7-12): Jesus encourages persistent prayer, seeking, and knocking, and reiterates the Golden Rule: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you..."

11. The Narrow and Wide Gates (Matthew 7:13-14): Jesus describes the narrow gate and difficult path that leads to life and the wide gate and broad road that leads to destruction.

12. True and False Prophets, and True and False Disciples (Matthew 7:15-23): Jesus warns about false prophets and the importance of discernment, and emphasizes that only those who do the will of the Father will enter the kingdom of heaven.

13. The Wise and Foolish Builders (Matthew 7:24-27): Jesus concludes his sermon with the parable of wise and foolish builders, emphasizing the importance of not just hearing his words, but acting upon them.

C. The Great Commandment

While the Great Commandment that Jesus gives in Matthew 22:36-40 is not technically part of the Sermon on the Mount, it is fundamental to Christian ethics and is certainly an excellent addition for self-examination. It can indeed be viewed as a summary of the main messages of the Sermon on the Mount and the Ten Commandments. The Great Commandment says:

1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. Here, you can reflect on your relationship with God. Do you put God first in your life? How does your love for God manifest in your thoughts, words, and deeds? Do you dedicate time for prayer, reading Scripture, worship, and other spiritual practices?

2. Love your neighbor as yourself. The second commandment is equally important. In your reflection, consider your relationships with others. Do you treat people with kindness, respect, and generosity? Are there relationships in your life that need forgiveness or reconciliation? Do you show care for the poor, the sick, the marginalized?

Remember that love in the Christian understanding is not just about feelings, but actions. The Apostle John wrote, "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:18). As you reflect on the Great Commandment, think about the ways your love for God and neighbor translates into concrete actions in your daily life.

D. Other important Passages

Throughout the New Testament, Jesus often expands on the key teachings presented in the Sermon on the Mount. While the Sermon provides a concise and powerful blueprint for Christian living, the Gospels as a whole offer a richer and more detailed picture of Jesus' teachings. Here are a few examples:

1. On Loving One's Enemies: In the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), Jesus expands on the command to love one's enemies and neighbors by illustrating that everyone, even those who may be culturally, religiously, or socially different from us, is our neighbor and deserving of our love and help.

2. On Judging Others: In John 8:1-11, Jesus responds to those ready to stone a woman caught in adultery by stating, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her," emphasizing the message against judging others.

3. On Giving to the Needy: In Matthew 25:31-46, the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats, Jesus expands on the idea of giving to the needy by saying that whatever we do for the least of our brothers and sisters, we do for Him.

4. On Praying: Apart from the Lord's Prayer given in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus also models a life of constant prayer and teaches about persistency in prayer (Luke 18:1-8), praying in faith (Mark 11:22-25), and the importance of humility in prayer (Luke 18:9-14).

5. On Seeking God's Kingdom: Jesus frequently teaches about the kingdom of God in His parables (e.g., the Parable of the Mustard Seed, Matthew 13:31-32; the Parable of the Hidden Treasure, Matthew 13:44). These parables offer various insights into what it means to seek first the kingdom of God.

6. On Living out God's Word: In John 15:1-17, Jesus speaks about the importance of remaining in Him (like branches on a vine) to bear much fruit, underscoring the necessity of living in accordance with His teachings.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. The teachings of Jesus found throughout the New Testament all work together to provide a comprehensive guide for Christian living, and can serve as additional material for personal self-examination and spiritual growth.

Reference:

Preparing for Confession:

https://www.stgeorgegreenville.org/our-faith/catechism/mysteries/confession

Are There Any Sins That Cannot be Forgiven?

 

Orthodox Christians believe the only unforgivable sin is the rejection of God's mercy and forgiveness. This is often referred to as "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit." This rejection signifies a deliberate and persistent refusal to accept God's love and forgiveness. The Church teaches that as long as a person remains unrepentant and unwilling to seek forgiveness, their sins cannot be absolved.

Through the sacrament of Holy Confession, it is believed that all sins, no matter how grave, can be forgiven. This sacrament is where believers confess their sins before a priest and receive absolution. When a person confesses their sins to a priest, they are opening up to God's presence and seeking reconciliation. The priest, as a representative of the Church and in the person of Christ, listens attentively and provides guidance and counsel, helping the penitent understand the nature of their sins and offering advice on how to grow in their spiritual life.

After the confession, the priest, by the authority given to him by the Church, offers the prayer of absolution. The absolution is the work of the Holy Spirit (grace), a formal act of God's forgiveness, acknowledging the penitent's repentance and expressing God's mercy and forgiveness. 

The priest does not himself have the power to forgive sins, but acts as an instrument through which God's grace and forgiveness are imparted.

Jesus granted authority to the apostles to forgive sins (John 20:22-23) which has been passed down to the bishops and priests through the laying on of hands in the sacrament of Holy Orders. This unbroken chain of succession is seen as preserving the apostolic authority and ensures the continuity of the Church's teachings and sacraments. This is know as Apostolic succession.

Forgiveness does not negate the consequences of our actions in this earthly life. There may still be temporal consequences or effects of our sins that we have to face. However, in terms of our relationship with God, Orthodox Christians believe that sincere repentance and acceptance of God's forgiveness restore our communion with Him.

The Orthodox Church encourages believers to continually seek forgiveness and repentance throughout their lives. 

In summary, while the Orthodox Church believes that all sins can be forgiven through repentance and God's grace, the rejection of God's mercy and refusal to seek forgiveness are seen as the primary obstacles to forgiveness. The emphasis is on the importance of genuine repentance through the sacrament of Holy Confession based on a sincere desire to reconcile with God. In this way all sins are forgiven.

Christ said, “every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven” (Matthew 12:31)

Intentional and Unintentional Sins

Does it make a difference if we sin unintentionally or intentionally? The Elder Paisios says that the "errors we fall into through carelessness are of a less serious nature."  He adds that sins are sins, but there can be extenuating circumstances. When we fall into sin unintentionally God in His mercy will help us so that this fault can be used of some good purpose.
He explains,

This means that since we erred unintentionally, God simply utilizes our fault for some good. But when we plan ahead and err knowingly and then repent, we should also pray that no other harm occur from the consequences of our fault.

Some of us may face more temptations than others.  God will have mercy in such cases.
The Elder says,

Someone, for example will set off for somewhere without having any intention of committing a sin, but on his way he is tempted and falls into some sin.  He repents, struggles to avoid sin, but is tempted again. Such a person has extenuating circumstances, because he does not want to commit a sin, but succumbs to temptation and then repents. But who ever says, "If I am to achieve that goal, I must do wrong," and so forth, that person is sinning on purpose and intentionally. In other words he plans and lays out his scheme to sin in cahoots with the devil. This is especially evil because its premeditated... Such a person should never expect to be helped, because he does not deserve divine help, he will in all likelihood die unrepentant.

Some people say they can wait until they are on their sick bed to confess their sinfulness. Those with intentional sins are not likely to carry out this plan. The elder tells a story about a contractor who had such an idea.

The contractor said,"When I grow old, I'll go to the Holy Land and be baptized in the river Jordan to have all my sins washed away," and he continued to live a sinful life. Finally when he had no more energy and could barely walk, he said to his trusted worker, "I've decided to go to the Holy Land and be baptized in the River Jordan as a pilgrim." And the worker gave him a bold response, "Boss, if you're clean of heart you will go, but if you are not, you will die on the way!" It was like a prophesy! As soon as he arrived in Athens to prepare his papers, he died! Others took all of his money and made arrangements with a funeral home to have him sent back to his hometown in a coffin.

A life of repentance generally implies that we are trying not to sin and avoid intentionally sins.  We go to confession regularly to confess our sins that were due to the many temptations we faced.  We can be assured that God will be merciful if our intentions are pure. But those who intentionally sin thinking they can repent later may not find the same help from God. Just the thought of putting off Confession or participation in Holy Communion might imply that we are comfortable with out sins, our way of life, and do not need God's help.  This implies that we are willingly sinning.  To live a life of repentance called for by Christ demands a constant attention to all our sins. If we are and participate in the Sacraments regularly we will find God's love and mercy. He will then become our helper to guide us to salvation.

Reference: Elder Paisios of Mount Athos Spiritual Counsels III: Spiritual Struggles, p 132

Are We Aware of Our Sinfulness?

Is everyone aware of their sinfulness?  Elder Paisios says, "we all have awareness, but we just don't care." For one to come to the light of Christ, one must want to come out of the darkness of sin.  This is our common condition. We all struggle with this. We know deep down that we are sinful but we resist participation the the Sacrament of Confession. Why do we resist? Pride? Perhaps. But as the Elder says, "we just don't care." We need to find a glimmer of "light" and then we will seek out reconciliation with God.  But first we must care about our condition in relationship to what Christ has taught us.


Elder Paisios uses the analogy of being shut in a dark cellar to describe the condition of one who has a heavy conscience due to sinful activities. He says that the moment one who is locked in a dark place, like a dark cellar, they feel trapped When they see a single ray of light, they will immediately try to follow it to find a way out.  That single light beam will give them hope and they will struggle to find its source to escape from the darkness.

Elder says,

It is the same with the [sinful] person; from the moment he sees the good as a necessity and feels "good restlessness" about achieving it, makes every effort to come out of the darkness of sin. If he says, "what am I doing wrong, I am not on the right path", then he humbles himself, God's grace comes upon him  and then he moves onto the right path.

But he adds that this is very difficult.  We must first have this feeling of "good restlessness". We must care about our spiritual condition and desire to improve it.  The Elder relates this to one shut in a closet.

Someone, for example, is in a tiny closet and feels as if he is suffocating. You tell him, "Get up, oen the door and go out and get some fresh air to revive yourself." But he begins to say, "I can't go out. But why am I closed up in here unable to breath? And why shouldn't I have fresh air: And why does God keep my in here while others are out in the fresh air? Well tell me can such a person be helped?

Is this not the condition of many of us.  We are shut up in this tiny closet of our own mind, locked in by our own pride.  Even when we are given the offer to come to receive the light, to come and seek forgiveness in Confession, we say, "Why do I need to talk to the priest? Why can't I do this all by myself? Am I not a good person?" Can such a person be helped by the Church?  No, he or she remains locked in their own little world, suffocating due to their own pride.

This is the challenge and opportunity offered to us by the Church in the Lenten season.  If we follow the fast, increase our daily prayers, and open our hearts to our sinfulness, we can ask for forgiveness and find relief when we may not know this is possible.  We can become more capable to seek spiritual nurturing through the Sacraments and prayers of the Church.  But, first, we must care.  We must care about our spiritual condition. We must want to see "the good as a necessity," and want to seek what the elder calls, "good restlessness."

Let's not deceive ourselves by thinking we don't need this extra effort, that we don't need to go to Confession, that we don't need to take time each morning and evening for prayers. Let's surrender to the Wisdom of the Church and follow its teachings and partake of all the tools it offers to us for our spiritual well being.

Reference:Elder of Mount Athos Spiritual Counsels III: Spiritual Struggle, pp130

Dealing with Repetitive Sins

A central element of the Orthodox way of life is repentance. We are continually recognizing our shortcomings in our life as lived when compared to the life God calls us to live.  As Orthodox Christians we grow by continually seeking forgiveness and committing ourselves to change in our behavior.  We fast, pray and participate in the Sacraments of the Church to help us in this life long effort.  We know that we cannot do this by our now efforts alone but we need the grace of God to become like Christ.


How often do we face this issue of going back to confession with the same issue time after time? What makes this process so difficult is that we are mostly focused on our body and our brain has taken control from the soul.  In our brain there are trillions of neural connections that program us to act in habitual ways.  The task is to be able to overcome these preprogramed habits and to recreate new habits that are congruent with the teachings of Christ.


Remember how Paul described this problem? Even Paul struggled to do what he willed to do.  Here is how he put it:

For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. (Romans 7:14-15))

Why did even Paul struggle? After all he was an Apostle, specially chosen by God, whose letters we read in our services with authority of Scripture. Modern day researchers have done considerable research on this problem we face. We can can draw from this research to help us change our behavior.  Charles Duhigg summarizes this work in his book the Power of Habit.  He says,

This process (habitual behavior) within our brains is a three-step loop.  First there is a cue, a trigger, that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and which habit to use.  Then there is a routine, which can be physical or mental or emotional.  Finally, there is a reward, which helps your brain figure out if their particular loop is worth remembering for the future.
When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making.  It stops working so hard, or diverts focus to other tasks.  So unless you deliberately fight a habit--unless you find new routines--the pattern will unfold automatically.

He tells us that our habits are powerful but delicate and often operate outside our consciousness.  But most importantly they can be changed. To change, we must understand that each habit has a craving or desire that lies behind it. For example if we want to create a habit of morning prayer, we need to have a cue when we get up in the morning that reminds us of our love of God and our desire to be united with Him and the peace this brings to us. So when we awake we can say the Jesus prayer as soon as we awake which is a cue to seek in prayer the peace we find in connecting with God. We will then awake with an anticipation of our morning prayer session.  We might further this desire when we walk to our prayer place light a candle, burn some incense or make a few prostrations. These or other actions then begin to form a new routine which get programmed in our brain so that eventually we automatically raise and go to our prayer station for our morning prayers.  


We need to recognize that this new routine will replace an old routine.  We may have cues for this routine that we can choose to aid us.  Maybe we always start our day with a cup of coffee.  If we can connect this cue with the time for prayer we may be aided by an old cue to create a new routine.


He points out the AA works because the program forces people to identify the cues and rewards that encourage their alcoholic habits, and then helps them find new behaviors, new routines. This is why we stress in our preparation for Confession a detailed recollection of the act of our sinfulness so we too can identify the cues that trigger what is most likely a bad habit that is programed in our brain.  Once we see the cause of our old behavior then we have to identify an, new course of action, a new routine.  Something creates a desire or craving in nature that needs to be fulfilled in a new way.  If an  encounter with a person or an action triggers anger, then we have to recognize this cue or trigger and learn a routine that is different than anger to substitute for the way we respond in anger.  In AA they also seek guidance and help from God.  Once our cue for sinful activity is known then we can ask God to guide us to find new routines.  We can seek His help to put this new routine into action.  AA does one other thing in that it provides a supportive community to help sustain the new behavior.  This is what a spiritual community is for as well.  It should give us support in our learning new routines.


There is now a body of knowledge called habit reversal therapy which is used to treat depression, smoking, gambling problems, anxiety, bedwetting, procrastination, obsessive-compulsive disorders and other behavioral problems.  Once key element of such therapies is the we must believe that change is possible.  Our faith should give us this confidence.  Once we admit a problem and share it with God, we know that He will help us find a way to change.  We know that All things are possible in God (Matt 19:26). But change begins by first having a clear and detailed understanding of the habit we want to change.


Reference: Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

Repentance - What does this Mean?

"The Church Fathers have called repentance a ‘second baptism’ or a renewal of baptism. At our first baptism, we began a journey towards the kingdom of God… Unfortunately not very many of us know what repentance means and what its greater significance is. Most people do not even know of what things we should repent.  Repentance is not, as we think, a legalistic procedure, which exonerates man from certain feelings of guilt. Nor is it the confession practiced by some as a necessary observation before the great feasts of the Church, or when faced with immense psychological pressures…

"The Greek word for repentance, metanoia (change of mind), implies a complete change of life, and the rejection of sin with our whole heart. It is to feel with our whole being that the road we are following leads nowhere and want to return…." 


Father Nektarios Antonopoulos


Reference: Return: Repentance and Confession by Archimandrite Nektarios Antonopoulos

When Is it OK to Lie?

We all know that lying is a sin. But how about when we lie for a good cause? Can we lie to save someone's life?

Elder Paisios give this advice,

It is a sin for someone to lie.  When he lies for a good cause, i.e. to save someone else, this is half a sin, because the lie is for the benefit of his fellow man and not for himself.  However it is also considered a sin; therefore, we should keep it in mind, and not fall into the habit of telling lies for insignificant things.

In our day-to-day world we are bombarded with advertisements trying to influence us.  Many of the claims are partial lies or half- truths intended to deceive us into thinking something other than what is the full truth.  This is also a form of lying that we are commonly caught up in.  Do we not often tell half-lies (a bit of embellishment) during our daily activities to make things seem better than they really are?  Lies of all kinds will do us harm unless we recognize the error in engaging in them.


Elder Paisios gives some advice to business owners.

There are good and bad merchants, honest and dishonest ones.  The honest ones tell the truth, use good materials and their prices are reasonable.  The others lie and make illicit profits.  At the beginning people ignore the honest merchant and his shop runs the risk to close down. Later on, though, God reveals the fraudulence of he dishonest ones and gives His blessing to the honest merchants.

In the end he is saying that we are rewarded by our truthfulness.  But in the short term we may be put at an disadvantage materially.  This is why there is so much lying in our day-to-day world and why we must struggle not to engage in such activity. Any sin can separate us from God.

Advice about Confession

We all know the importance of Confession, but yet so few take advantage of it.  Here Elder Paisios shows us why it is so important.

A young man went to see the Elder.  I arrived the moment he was ringing the bell, and waited behind him. After a while, Father Paisios opened the door and came to the fence.

- What's up, young man, what do you want? asked the Elder.

- Father, I would like to see you and get your advice on something.

- Have you gone to confession? Do you have a spiritual father?

- No, Father, I don't have a spiritual father and I haven't gone to confession.

- Well, then you better go to confession and then come to see me.

- Why can't I see you, Father?

-I will explain to you, so you can understand.  Your mind is confused and troubled by the sins you have fallen into; as a result, you cannot realize the situation you are in.  So, you will not be able to give me a clear picture of your problem.  However, if you confess your sins, your mind will clear up and you will see things very differently.

Note how he relates confession to a clearing of the mind.  So often we think of it as having our names taken off the list for breaking some kind of law.  Elder  Paisios is lifting this sacrament to its true value, one of clearing our mind so we can more clearly see God, receive His grace, follow His commandments and understand the spiritual nature of our life.

The story continues as the young man does not take heed of the Elder's advice.

Father, maybe I am confused and troubled and unable to tell you what exactly is wrong with me, but you yourself can understand the nature of my problem and tell me what to do.

- Listen, even if I can see with a certain clarity what is wrong with you, you still have the problem inside you.  Since your mind is troubled, you will neither understand, nor remember what I will say to you.  If you go to confession and you are tuned in the same spiritual frequency with us, then we will be ale to communicate.  So, go to a spiritual father for confession and I will wait for your visit.

Without the cleansing that comes with confession, all the counseling we receive will fall on deaf ears and without the right understanding. We also need to take responsibility for our troubles and be willing to take them to our spiritual father and to offer them to God seeking forgiveness and direction about how to change our lives. Only then will we be able to listen and do something with the advice we receive. In this way the Holy Spirit works to cleanse our mind.  It is only when the mind is cleared of our troubles are we able to be open to hear the wisdom of an Elder like Paisios.

Source: Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain, p 120

Objections to Confession

So frequently we here all the excuses about why people do not participate in Confession when this is one of the most loving and powerful sacraments of the Church.  Archimandrite Seraphim Alekslev examines some of these excuses in his beautiful book The Forgotten Medicine.

"HOW GREAT must be our wickedness! We do not turn to Confession not only because we forget about it, but we do not practice it even when we know about it. What can be more imprudent than this?

Confession is so important to us sinners that we must boldly say: there is no salvation for us without Confession. Abba Isaiah expresses the same thought: "If there were no repentance, nobody would be saved. just as Baptism cleanses us from original sin and from all sins committed prior to Baptism, so repentance, involving a confession of our sins, cleanses us from all lawlessness committed after Baptism."

We do not confess because we have objections to Confession. What are our objections usually?

Here are the main ones:

1) One says: "I am so sinful! Can God forgive my sins?
I do not believe this! That is why there is no use for me to go to Confession."
But if a man repents sincerely, any sin can be forgiven him. "The power of repentance is based on the power of God. The Doctor is all-powerful, and the Medicine given by Him is all-powerful" (Bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov).

St. John Chrysostom, pondering on the miraculous results of sincere repentance, says: "Repentance is a medicine which destroys sin. It is a heavenly gift, a marvelous force which through the grace of God conquers the might and strictness of the laws. It accepts all and transforms all…

Do not tell me: "I have sinned much, how can I save myself?" You cannot, but your God can, and He can do it so that all your sins will be destroyed….

Sin is to God's love for man what the spark is to the sea, not even that, but something much smaller! The sea, however big it may be, has an end, but God's love for man is limitless.

2) Another says: "Why should I go to Confession? I have no special sins.
Let those who have murdered, stolen, raped, or committed some other sin go to Confession."
This objection to Confession is the complete opposite of the first one... Here, there is a lack of any realization of wickedness….

Let those who say, "I have no special sins," answer whether they have Christ in their hearts. He likes to inhabit pure hearts. But are their hearts pure? Hardly! They imagine that they are pure, but imagination is not reality. lf we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us (1 John 1:8). And where there is a lie, there Christ is not.

The Holy Fathers teach us that It Is very hard for a man to see his sins….

It turns out that those who think that they do not have any great sins are actually blind. They must pray to God to enable them to perceive their sins and to save themselves from the extremely fatal spiritual delusion that they do not have any particular sins. Even if their sins are as small as specks of dust, if they are not cleaned with constant Confession, they pile up and dirty the room of the heart so that the high heavenly Guest cannot enter there.

The small sins are often more dangerous than the greatest crimes, because the latter weigh heavily on the conscience and insist on being atoned for, confessed, settled, erased, while the small sins do not weigh too much on the soul, but they have that perilous property of making it insensitive to the grace of God and indifferent to salvation. ….

In order for man to restore his spiritual life, he needs to confess even the smallest of his sins.

3) A third man says: "All this is true. But why should I confess when I know that tomorrow I will sin again? Is there any point In such confession? I see that one should confess only if one would sin no more after that!"
This objection to Confession contains both something which is very true and something which is not. The right thing here is the desire not to sin any more after Confession. But we are feeble humans, and we cannot attain right away such a firmness which makes falling into voluntary sins impossible. If we cannot reach such steadfastness in virtue right away, should we surrender to vice? Or should we stop confessing? Which is better––to roll in the mud of the spiritual swamp, or to pick yourself up after each fall and go on with the hope that someday you may reach the solid and beautiful shore of virtue? If you do not confess, you remain in the mud. If you confess, you pick yourself up from the mud and clean yourself. "But why should I get up if tomorrow I will fall again?" you say. When you fall again, then get up again! Every day begin all over again! This is undoubtedly better than falling out of the habit of getting up….

Leave your house unswept, uncleaned, and unventilated for one year! Will it not turn into a pigsty? Now think about what the soul of a man is like when he has not cleaned it through Confession, not only for a year, but for twenty, forty, sixty, or seventy years!...

4) A fourth man says: "I am confessing before God. What need is there for me to go to the priest?"
... God has ordained the priest to administer the Holy Sacraments so that we can receive through them heavenly all-saving grace. Confession is a sacrament, too. If you confess before God, you are doing well, because you are moving your conscience, remembering your sins, and maybe even shedding tears for them. Yet you do not receive God's grace of forgiveness through all that. ...until you go to the priest to whom Jesus Christ Himself has given the power to bind and loose, no matter how much you confess before God, you do not receive forgiveness for your sins, because God Himself has condescended to say to the priest: whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them (John 20:23).

Besides, Confession before a priest has an enormous instructive meaning. It humbles us. It cures our pride; it makes us blush savingly; It instills in us shame and fear and thus protects us from future sins.

"But how can the priest absolve sins?" you ask. He can, since God has ordered it so. "But is the priest himself not a sinful man?" If lie is sinful, what do you lose from that? He is sinful for himself and will answer before God for his sins. The Holy Sacraments administered by him do not cease to be active for you because of his sinfulness if you accept them with faith and humility. Does the sunray get dirty when it falls on mud? In the same way, God's grace does not lessen by being transmitted by a priest muddled with sins. He himself may be denied grace on Judgment Day because of his sinfulness, but you, accepting through him God's grace, will not deprive yourself of it if you show yourself to be worthy.

"But will the priest not give away the secret of my confessed sins?" No! No priest has the right to tell of that which he has heard during Confession. He has to take the secret of the Confession to his grave. So do not worry that the shame of your sinfulness may be announced to society.

But remember that if you avoid Confession because of zeal for your honor, you will shame yourself If you are ashamed to admit your weaknesses before one man, everyone will begin talking about them! Such is the spiritual law. People sense our weaknesses, no matter how diligently we hide them. If you confess them before one man, God, because of your humility before this single witness, will cover you with His grace before the many.

...Your confession will teach you to struggle with your passions; and if you are really fighting against them, the multitude of people will not find out about them. You, with God's help, will be healed before you have shamed yourself. But if you do not want to be healed through Confession, then you will both expose your name to abuse here and then be disgraced before the whole universe at the Last Judgment!"

From: The Forgotten Medicine, pp 29-39

More on Confesion....

Preparing for Confession

Lent is the time for repentance, for self-assessment followed by a cleansing and renewal committing our selves to make changes in our way of life. This self assessment is not an easy one to undertake.  Our sinful nature is often hidden deep within. 

Here is an outline of some of the advice from Saint Theophan the Recluse about how to undertake this inner assessment of our conscience.

How do we prepare to receive this Gift of Awakening Grace?

Think timidly and fearfully of our weak condition. 
Need to open up as we have become hardened and blinded. 
We need to recognize this hardness. Conversion often occurs simply as the thought comes to a person to change his life and improve himself.
Don’t Procrastinate This is a common ailment. Never say: “I will do it tomorrow or some other time.” Remember, habit and inclinations can imprison us in sin.

There are different levels to our condition The covering that is deepest most dangerous and closest to the heart is self-deception, insensitivity and carelessness. Absent mindedness and distraction of a busy life are closer to the surface. On outer surface is the passions of the flesh.

Resolve to abandon sin and dedicate one’s life to pleasing God (Theosis). Embrace the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). Admit your sins.

How do we identify our sins? 

1. Makeup a sheet with the laws of God on one side and your life on the other. See how they compare.

A. Recall all your obligations in relation to God, your neighbor and to yourself. 

B. Go through the Ten Commandments. (pdf with questions)

C. Review the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5). 

D. Read the Epistle of James and the Epistles of Paul especially 12:9-21 in the Epistle to the Romans. And chapter 4 in the Epistle to the Ephesians.

E. Read the first Epistle of Saint John. 
F. Look at the prayer before Communion.

You will uncover a multitude of deeds words, thoughts feelings and iniquitous desires that should not have been done. And things that should have been done that were not. There will be some that were good but the motivations behind them were not pure.

The most important thing is to realize that to know your sinfulness requires an exact determination of your deeds. Along with the circumstances of time, place, people and os forth.

2. Identify the underlying patterns which show you the characteristic of your heart.

The governing passions will become clear. There will be one passion which will condition all the actions. This is the root of your sinfulness.

3. Reflect on these sins until you see clearly that each one was committed according to your own desire. Don’t listen to the excuses. 
Work on this until you can honestly say, I am guilty of this and that. You will begin to feel burdened and wretched. Don’t feel bad that you are experiencing them but desire that they all come forward.

The right condition is a feeling of regret and repentance. This leads to a vow to change.

4. Seal this work with the sacrament of repentance.

Through this sacrament one clears the divine ledger.


More on confession...