Regaining Peace When Emotional

At sometime during our emotionally and time filled day we will most likely experience a moment when we simply lose it.  Out of frustration we may yell out. Out of anger we may say something we wish we had not said. The key to maintaining peace is to recognize when our emotions have taken over the normal functioning of our mind and body.

Emotions work very quickly in our body. It's part of a system of self-defense that God has given us, but it needs to be controlled and reserved for those times when we really are in danger.  Dr Antonio Damasio (The Feeling of What Happens) studied how emotions work in the the body. He found that first there is some input from our senses that serves as a trigger. This may be verbal attack on our self-esteem, a put down. It may be a challenge to our given authority, or a desire that is suddenly blocked. It may be a reprimand by a coworker or authority figure. When this event occurs we can easily loose it. In less than a second the brain sends commands to the other regions of the brain and almost everywhere in the body proper.  In the bloodstream commands are sent in the form of chemical molecules that act on receptors in the cell of body tissues. In the neuron pathways commands take the form of electrochemical signals which act on other neurons or muscular fibers or organs which in turn can release chemicals of their own into the bloodstream.  The result is a instantaneous change in the whole state of our biological system. Our heart rate will increase and other physical changes will take place.  It is only after all this takes place that we become aware of a feeling. The implication of this is that when we do experience extreme feelings we need to be aware that our body has been changed and is prepared for a fight. To act with a mind of peace, we need to intervene quickly in a way that will bring our system back to normal.

Here is the best way to do this. As soon as you recognize this change in state, stop what you are doing. Immediately begin saying the Jesus prayer. Excuse yourself from any further interaction before you act in a way that may get you into trouble. Now is the time to take a prayer walk. A prayer walk is when you walk and say the Jesus Prayer. With each step say one word of the prayer. Your whole body becomes the prayer. If you can, leave the building for a few minutes, all the time saying the prayer. When outside walk in cadence with the words of the prayer. In minutes you will be brought back to a peaceful state and you will be able think rationally again. Now you can choose how to enter the situation you were in when this was triggered. You may choose to not reenter. But now you are no longer a physical state prepared for a fight. You can again act with a peaceful mind.

This prayer walk is a most powerful tool. But to use it you must first establish a peaceful mind based on the daily practice of the Jesus Prayer.  With this practice you will also become watchful of all negative thoughts entering into your heart. You will be more aware of your mental state. But there will still be times when the body's defense system takes over where you need to make an intervention to maintain your peacefulness and Christian attitude. With this ability to be watchful will come the ability to know when to intercede and take a prayer walk. 

Whatever your state of spiritual development you will find the Jesus Prayer walk a useful way to bring you back in touch with God when you have separated from him based on emotions. Try it. 

Gaining Inner Peace

Many of us experience life filled with turmoil. Our inner thoughts rage from one issue to another. It may seem like there is never time to stop and reflect. Peace is something desired but rarely experienced. But peace is the message of Christ. Jesus said to his disciples before His crucifixion, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you" (John 14:7).  The Apostle Paul preached, "The peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ" (Phil 4:7). Our Christian faith is supposed to bring us peace, but yet even though we believe in Christ many seldom experience this peace. What is lacking?

The main issue is that our minds are too busy and we lack the ability to control our thoughts. This is a discipline we can learn through a combination of our own effort and God's grace. First, we should pray for inner peace. Second, we should examine our daily prayer rule and modify it.  Prayer combined with repentance can bring peace and help us develop the discipline to control our minds. With a mind under control we make better decisions that lead us to a more peaceful life.

From my own experience, the practice of the Jesus Prayer is the most important practice for those seeking inner peace. For this to be effective a considerable amount of time needs to be committed to its practice. It requires at least one-half hour each day in the beginning and more later.

The most difficult part of this practice is committing the time to do it each and every day, without exception. It must become a habit just like brushing your teeth. Each day you miss you will fall back at least three days. It is easiest to make this time available in the morning by deciding to get up one-half hour earlier. It is also the quietest time for your body as well as your surroundings. This of course means you will have to go to bed one-half hour earlier as well.  That is the hard part. Most likely you have a habit in the evening of relaxing, escaping the issues of the day, by watching a television program. This you will have to give up to make time for prayer.

Once you have made these decisions the rest is easy, as long as you have the inner desire for peace that comes from your faith in Christ. This is a practice of love of God.  It is motivated not just for relief from anxiety, but for a desire to walk your life in union with Christ and to experience the peace He had in all kinds of situations.

The prayer is simple, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner." You simply repeat it over and over. You begin your prayer time in a special quiet place where you have your icons and a candle which you can light before you begin. Take a few moment to quite your body and repeat the Trisagion prayer, then begin the repletion of the Jesus Prayer. Focus on the words. Say it aloud in the beginning. Don't try and rush. You have committed the time (You can set a timer so you know when the time is up) so there is no time pressure. Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica tells us, "We should say the words of the prayer knowing that the Lord sees us and He is listening to us."

Once you begin this discipline you will find that your mind is distracted by many thoughts. You will notice that you can observe yourself thinking. This is called the place of the silent witness, treasure it. When you encounter thoughts, you want to immediately and gently reject them and focus on the words of the Prayer. This is normal. You may discover some repeating thoughts related to an issue that requires forgiveness and repentance. If so, note it and seek forgiveness and arrange for the sacrament of Confession and determine actions to change this aspect of your behavior.  But, while in your prayer time, do not focus on any issues. This is not a time for problem solving. Try and focus only on the prayer with sincerity, love for God, and a contrite heart seeking His mercy. 

You will find this is difficult. Do not be discouraged as it is through difficulty that we progress and learn to control this wild activity of our mind. As they say, "No pain, no gain." You need to have persistence, endurance and faith that the Lord will help you. Remind yourself why you are engaging in this prayer life, you are seeking inner peace that comes from God for a life that is no longer filled with anxiety and turmoil but is lived with peace.

You also want to keep your focus on your heart and not on your head or brain. It is in the heart, the center of our soul, where Christ resides within us.  Elder Sophrony tells us, "Keep your mind firmly focused on God, and the moment will come when the immortal Spirit touches the heart." We are not to seek any experience in this effort other than silence and peace. We should also not try to create any images in our mind and should reject those that do come. Over time, you will begin to find silence in the space between the words as the mind becomes more controlled.

Also this prayer will become part of you and during the day you can seek out ways to repeat it often. Use it when you are feeling stressed, when you are bored or feel impatient. Fill you mind with God whenever you have a chance. Eventually this prayer will be with you throughout your day and will bring comfort and a recentering of your life on Christ. This will bring peace.

There are many articles on how to pray, but the most difficult aspect is to just do it.  Make the time! Make the commitment! Be consistent! After you begin and have made some effort for several months you will notice a change in your life. Thank God for this blessing.  At this time you may want to seek out some articles to give you encouragement.  These articles and more on the Jesus prayer can be found at OrthodoxPrayer.org.

Everyone can benefit from this practice. Its a part of our Orthodox Tradition. All it takes is your commitment to make time for it.

Let's all pray that the Lord will bring us all a quiet mind filled with peace. When this happens we will have peace in the world. 

Taking Lent Seriously

Instead of making decisions to change our normal activities during Lent, many seem satisfied to continue life as in any other period. They go to church on Sunday, they don't participate in the additional Lenten services, their social life proceeds as normal, and they even ignore the fast. 

What does it mean to take Lent seriously? It means we engage in it whole heartedly as a spiritual challenge and opportunity. This means we make special plans to make an extra effort during this period. We can think of this period as a gift of God encouraging us to seek ways to perfect ourselves, to make changes in our way of life, to be renewed and deepen our spirituality. It is a period intended for Repentance and change.

We are prepared by the themes of the Sundays precede Lent: the desire of Zacchaes to repent, the humility of the Publican, the welcomed return of the Prodigal Son , of the Final Judgment we will all face, and the need and power of forgiveness. Meditate on these Gospel lessons (Publican and the Pharisee (Luke 18:10-14); Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32); Judgment (Meat-fare) Sunday (Matt 25:31-46); Forgiveness (Cheese-Fare) Sunday (Matt 6:14-21). Combined, they provide the foundation for the right motivation during Lent.

Next, we find on the church calendar many additional services. If we are serious about Lent we will make plans to participate in them, increasing our time devoted to prayer. This requires a decision and extra effort. The main services are the Presanctified Liturgy on Wednesdays and the Salutations on Friday evenings.

Of course there is also fasting to go along with our additional time in prayer. Without fasting you cannot say there is Lent. To understand its importance review the story of Adam and Eve. Their transgression involved eating against God’s will. Also the first act of Christ when he began His public ministry was a 40 day fast. Food is central to life. Without it there is biological death. We tend to think of the essentials of life only in terms of nourishment, but we must lift our thoughts to consider a higher life which depends on God instead of food. In fasting we are reminding ourselves of the great truth, life is not dependent on bread alone but on God. The problem for Adam was that he ate for his own sake, to be independent of God, thinking the fruit of the tree would make him like God. Adam in disobeying Gods command to not eat of this fruit lost eternal life. Christ came to restore what had been lost. He began with a fast. It says in Scripture, "When He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He became hungry" (Matt 4:2). Hunger makes us realize that we are dependent on something more than what we have in ourselves. It raises the important question, What does my life depend on? With fasting we face the temptation Christ faced during His fast. When he rejected it He said, “It is written (Deuteronomy 8:3), ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” (Matt 4:4). He restored the relationship between food, life and God. By fasting we enter into that experience Christ had and with the understanding that life is dependent on more than food. The life we seek is eternal and depends on God. When fasting we can experience food as a gift from God and realize how our life in this world and the next world are dependent on Him. It is through fasting that we can recover the realization of our spiritual nature. We denounce the temptations that come when we are hungry or not able to satisfy a desire for a certain kind of food. We develop inner strength against temptations. When combined with prayer we experience the victory of Christ over evil. We learn that our greater hunger is a hunger for God. This is why our fast in Lent is also coupled with additional prayer services. To be serious about Lent is to be serious about our salvation and our desire to be united with God. In preparing for our fast we must think about more that the "rules" of fasting. It is not enough to simply follow the "rules." The fast must be God centered. It must be viewed as something to help us discover our body as the Temple of His presence.  True fasting will lead us to temptation, discomfort, showing us our weakness and raising doubts. Lent is long enough to test our resolve, our endurance and perseverance which are all necessary to follow the path to union with Christ.

If we are serious about Lent, we also make modifications in our way of life during Lent. We brace ourselves to go against the grain of our modern materialistic and self-centered culture that ignores most religious traditions and efforts. If we are serious about Lent we will choose not to follow the norm. We will instead reduce our level of activity to make room for silence and inner reflection. We should reduce the use of TV, internet surfing, video watching and games, as well as other forms of entertainment and pastimes. This does not have to be a complete absence but a reduced one. We can watch the news and carefully select other programming that is beneficial for our soul. We want to make more time for spiritual reading, listening to spiritual talks, and prayer. We should try to create an atmosphere in our homes that encourages spiritual enrichment during this period. We want gain the experience of what is important for the true life that comes from faith and a life lived by this faith.

Let's become serious about Lent, let's attend the extra services, let's fast, let's reduce our social activities, let’s limit our time spent on Internet surfing, videos and games. Instead, lets make time for inner introspection that leads us to repentance, nurturing our soul, and deepening or relationship with God.

Thank God for this special time and do take Lent seriously.

Have a good and spiritual Lent.

Reference: Great Lent, Alexander Schmemann. 

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a central aspect of the Orthodox Way of Life.  As we approach Forgiveness Sunday and the beginning of Lent it is worthwhile to reflect on this important virtue.

Jesus tells us "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you" (Matt 6:14). God's willingness to forgive us is linked with our willingness to forgive others.  He also says, "if you do not forgive men their trespasses neither will your father forgive you" (Matt 6:15).

Saint Seraphim of Sarov writes,

Whatever the offense that had been given, you must never try to avenge it. Instead you must all the more try to forgive the offender with your whole heart, even though your heart itself may try to resist you.... Do not nurture hate or malice in your heart toward anyone that hated you. Let us follow the example of our Lord Jesus Christ instead, and strive to love our enemies and to do good in return as much as we possible can.

Jesus tells us, "love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you" (Matt 5:44). This is a difficult teaching that Jesus has shown us, but is necessary if we are to be joined with Him in love. To not forgive others, blocks us from Him because our heart is clouded by our grudges.

Why is this imperative so hard to follow? Why are we unwilling to forgive others? Are we not sinners also? Do we not what others to forgive us when we fail to act out of love? Do we not want to be united with God in His love? 
Unfortunately we are confused by our intellect. I find myself thinking I am superior to others and able to be the judge of others actions when with a little reflection I find I am the greater sinner. Reflect on Job and God's testimony that he turned away evil. Consider how Joseph did not seek revenge against his brothers. Consider Saint Stephen's actions as he was being stoned. All the saints demonstrated this virtue as they were persecuted. Look at your patron saint and see how he or she was able to forgive others. The saints see the evil working in a person and are able to hate the evil but maintain love for the human being.

On Forgiveness Sunday evening there is a vespers service that marks the beginning of Lent. At the end of this service each participant is asked to forgive the others who are assembled. There is an opportunity for each person to ask for forgiveness and to give forgiveness. It is the proper preparation to begin the period of Great Lent, to begin the fast with a heart filled with love, to start the period of self reflection and repentance in humility.

Let us act on what we recite daily in our prayer to the Father, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Let us all search our hearts for all signs of grudges we are holding onto and give them up to Christ.

Alexander Schmemann writes,

To forgive is to put between me and my "enemy" the radiant forgiveness of God himself. To forgive is to reject the hopeless "dead-ends" of human relations and to refer them to Christ. Forgiveness is truly a "breakthrough" of the Kingdom into this sinful world. (Great Lent, p 28)

Be sure to attend the forgiveness service in your parish on the Eve of Forgiveness Sunday.

10 Things Orthodox Christians Would Like You to Know

My friend Daniel Miles sent this to me and asked me to post it on the blog to help answer the questions you may get from your non-Orthodox friends.

10 Things Orthodox Christians Would Like You to Know

1) We don’t worship Mary.  We hold her in a place of esteem because of her singularly unique role as the birthgiver of Jesus Christ.  Orthodox Christians state and affirm over and over again throughout the worship services that God alone is the only One to Whom worship is due.  

2) We don’t worship icons.  Icons are like a family photo album.  Just as in our own families, where we keep the pictures of our loved ones who have departed this life on shelves and hanging on walls, we also keep the pictures of the members of our larger Christian family around, particularly those members of our Christian family who have led exempliary lives.  The word icon only means “image” or “picture”.  

3) When we talk about tradition, we don’t mean the traditions of men, we mean Holy Tradition.  The traditions that the Church has taught have always been those that have been led by the Spirit.  It was the tradition of the Church that gave us the New Testament and, the New Testament also continues to inform that traditon.  It is cyclical and not mutually exclusive.

4) Orthodox Christianity is not “works” based.  It always takes the grace and will of God to bring about our salvation.  We do good works because it is the outpouring of the joy that we experience through living Christ-centered lives and because it is an expression of righteous living and of love for God and neighbor.  There are no “points” earned by doing good works.  

5) There’s no such thing as the Byzantine Empire.  This was a term invented by French scholars retroactively during the rennaisance.  Constantine moved the capital of the empire to the east and Constantinople became known as New Rome.  Though portions of the Western half of the Roman Empire fell, the Eastern half continued for over a thousand years after the Goths sacked Rome.  Those living in the Eastern part of the Roman Empire did not think of themselves as “Byzantines” or even Greeks.  They were Romans.  Even today, the Turks still refer to Orthodox Christians living in Turkey as “Roman”.  

6) “True” Christianity did not disappear when the Church received legal recognition from the Roman Government.  Faithful, pious and righteous Christians continued to live in faith and suffer martyrdom and persecution.  The Church thatwas founded by Jesus Christ, and its theology, remained intact.  Those who became frustrated with government intervention in Church life struggled to maintain the purity of the church’sdoctrine and life.  However, since the Church continued to adhere to its basic teachings without dilution, it was necessary for pious believers to continue their struggle within the church.  It was believed that no person had the right to create or invent his or her own church.  It is also significant to mention that the Orthodox Church continues to bear much fruit.  If losing one’s life, or martyrdom, is the ultimate expression of one’s devotion to Christ, there has never been a more fruitful time within the Church.  There were more Christian martyrs in the 20th century than all previous centuries of Christian history combined.  Most of these martyrs were Orthodox Christians who refused to renounce their faith.  

7) The Orthodox Church is not a denomination nor is it “non-denominational”.  It is pre-denominational.  The Church was without break or separation for more than 1,000 years.  The Orthodox Church did not break away from any other group.  The Orthodox Church continued right along up to this day.  In fact,groups that refer to themselves as “non-denominational” because they are free standing churches, not connected with any larger mainline protestant confessions, are, in fact, denominations.  Since a denomination means a breaking down of the whole or a separation, they are simply denominationsconsisting of one parish.  

8) Yes, the Orthodox are “Bible believing” Christians.  Almost everything within Orthodox worship comes directly from the Bible, both Old and New Testaments.  There is probably more Bible read on a single Sunday Morning in Orthodox Worship than in an entire year in most other churches.  

9) Orthodox Christianity is not an exotic form of Roman Catholicism.  While both Churches have organized worship, the life, practice and doctrine of the Roman Catholics and The Orthodox are quite different.  The Orthodox view the Pope as the bishop of Rome, not a supreme leader of the entire Church.  And, because, in the eyes of the Orthodox, the Pope has stated that his authority is over the entire Church, The Orthodox arenot currently in communion with Rome.  Roman Catholic doctrinal principles such as the Immaculate Conception of Mary, Papal Infallibility, Transubstantiation of Holy Communion, and Original Sin are absent from the Orthodox Church.  These perspectives took root in the Roman Catholic Church after East and West went their separate ways.

10) Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, is the head of the Orthodox Church: not Luther, not Calvin, not Wesley.  The Orthodox Church can trace the lineage of the ordinations of its clergy all the way back to Christ Himself with unbroken continuity.  Orthodox Christianity has remained faithful to Christ not only doctrinally but also historically.  

With these things said, The Orthodox are not trying to convert you.  We believe in tolerance of other faiths, and this has been written so that those of you who may come from other backgrounds might be more tolerant of us.  Please don’t write us off.  Learn what we really think, do and believe before deciding without sufficient knowledge.  We’re believers.  We don’t preach false doctrine.  We accept the Bible as the Word of God.  Simply put, we struggle within the boundaries of the church to always be as good of an expression of the Kingdom of God on earth as possible.  This is because Christ created one Church and prayed that It would remain one.  We believe it is our sacred duty to preserve this oneness.  We are not allowed to whimsically create a new church whenever we are upset.  If we don’t like what’s happening in our Church, we don’t leave.  We risk persecution, even to death, to protect the faith because that’s what Christ did when He created The Church. 

by Daniel Miles 

Way of Love

"Treat well those who are good," said the Ancient Sage
"Also treat well those who are not good;
Thus is goodness attained.
Be sincere to those who are sincere,
Also be sincere to those who are not sincere;
Thus is sincerity attained."
And the Way, when He became flesh, said:
"If you love those who love you, what thanks do you have?
For sinners also love those who love them.
If you do good to those who do good to you, what thanks do you have?
For sinners also do the same.
And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what thanks do your have?
For sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again."

On account of these five reasons do people love one another;
For the sake of the Way, as when the virtuous person lovers everyone;
Or for natural reasons, as parents love their children and children love their parents;
Or out of vainglory, as the one who is honored loves the one who honors him;
Or for avarice, as the one who loves a rich person for what he can get;
Or for pleasure, as the one who is enslaved to his fleshly desires.

The first of these is praise worthy,
the second neutral,
And the the rest belong to the passions.

From Christ the Eternal Tao, pp 170-171

The Orthodox Way leads us along a path of repentance where we learn, with the help of His grace, to control our passions, so we become capable of true love.  How does one do this?  Look here for the ten basic principles of the Orthodox Way of life

True Love

Love is central to the Orthodox Way of Life. But to love, we must first have what the Fathers call dispassion. This is where we have been freed from control by the passions. With dispassion our response to the sensual inputs we receive from our senses no longer determines our response to them.  We are able to receive them without having any particular desire, but instead we can act with self-control based on the virtues brought to us by God. As long as our actions are controlled by our bodily instincts we cannot surrender to God and convey His love. Why? Because we are still egocentric in our way of being and a slave to our bodily and worldly passions.

Diadochos writes,

He who loves himself, cannot love God. But he who doesn't love himself because of overwhelming richness of the love of God, loves God, for such a person never seeks his own glory, but that of God. Because he who loves himself seeks his own glory, but he who loves God, loves glory of Him who made him.  Since it is proper to the sensitive soul to always seek first the glory of God in all the commandments which he is carrying out, and secondly to enjoy himself in his humility.

What is love?  For Orthodox Christians, love is an uncreated energy of God that is communicated to us by the Holy Spirit. It is a divine and deifying energy that is a genuine participation in the life of the Holy Trinity.  Saint John says, "Love comes from God." (1John 4:7)

This divine love of necessity comes only after one has gained a victory over the passions and one has the power of concentration to focus his soul on God in prayer. When we feel this love of God in our hearts, it is then that we become capable of loving our neighbor with a spiritual feeling.  This capability to love others is a fruit of the love of God.

Saint Isaac the Syrian says,

He who loves God, cant help but love every person as himself, even though he is displeased by the passions of those who are yet uncleansed."

On the other side, he who has any trace of hatred in his heart will not be able to have this love for others.

Saint Maximus the Confessor writes,

"If a person sees a trace of hate in his heart, for any fault whatsoever in anyone at all, he is completely alienated from the love of God."

See how important it is to reconcile yourself with everyone?  Even one trace of hatred will block you from God's love.  To love truly requires a pure heart.  We need to examine ourselves and all our relationships to see where we are holding any grudges that defies our love.  Even though it may not be easy to reconcile, we must do so if we want to be joined with God in His love.

Saint Isaac the Syrian describes the nature of God's true love.

And love, having God as its cause, is like a spring bubbling up whose stream never stops and He alone is the cause of love and its material is inexhaustible... for this material which brings him to the remembrance of God is always available to him, so that even in sleep he speaks with God.

Seek after this unending source of love. Prepare yourself with dispassion. Reconcile all your relationships. Let none be swept under the carpet. Practice the Orthodox way of life. It will lead you to this pure love.

Ten Points for an Orthodox Way of Life

Resource: Orthodox Spirituality by Dumitru Staniloae, pp 303-309