Can We Trust Our Own Judgment?

How do you know you are on the right path for you salvation?   How do you know what effort you need to make to grow in your relationship with God?  Can you judge this by yourself?

"Where there is no guidance, they fall like leaves; salvation exists in much counsel," it says in Proverbs 11:14.

One of the truths about our Orthodox way of life is that we will wither and fall like leaves if we do not seek counsel and instead believe we can guide ourselves. How often do we see the new convert who is enthusiastic about fasting, attends all the services, carries a prayer rope and repeats the Jesus prayer, and all the other things one is taught about the faith. But what frequently happens after a period of time? If they rely only on their own guidance they will have found that they took on more than they were capable of and cannot maintain such a way of life. They lose their zeal and without anyone to guide them other than their own direction they fade in their efforts. This often ends with disillusion and even a falling away from the faith.

Our own will becomes our enemy. It leads us where we are incapable of seeking help from those who have greater wisdom. Saint Dorotheos writes,

It is for this reason that Abba Poeman used to say, "the Will is like a brass wall between man and God". Do you see strength in that saying? In addition, he added, "It is like a stumbling stone by which we go against and oppose the Will of God".  If a person relinquishes his will he can truly say, "By my God, I leapt over a wall. As for my God, His way is perfect." (Ps 18:29-30). How wonderfully spoken! For when a person abandons his own will he sees that the way of God is without blemish but when he identifies himself with his own will then he cannot see that the way of God is blameless. If he happens to be cautioned by someone, he immediately blames him, treats him with contempt, dislikes him and opposes him. How can he tolerate anybody or receive any advice whatsoever when he keeps his own will?

Why is it we are so self-willed? Why do we find it hard to trust in the way of life taught by the Church?  Why do we not seek out help from the elders of the Church for our personal guidance? Why is "My way" so important to us?

Saint Dorotheos also  tells us our condition is even worsened when we couple our self-will with self-justification.  That is, when we take the additional step of justifying why our own will is superior to the teachings of the saints, the wise people of the Church. The saint says, "Who can persuade him to believe that another person knows what is good for him better than he does? He is left to himself, left to follow his own thoughts, and the devil can make a corpse of him."

The way we should behave is to freely seek counsel on everything. As Proverbs says, "Salvation exists in much counsel." Of course we must be careful in whom we choose to take council from. It must be somebody we have full confidence in and who is respected for their wisdom regarding things of the spirit.  Saint Dorotheos says, 

"When the soul is protected by telling everything and advised by somebody who is spiritually wise, saying, "Do that," "Do not do that," or "This is good," "This is not good," "This is self-justification," "This is self-will," "It is not the time to do this," or "This is the time to do this," then the devil does not find an excuse to harm the soul or to cast it down."

It is critical to have the desire to do God's will and not our own will. This is humility. Saint Dorotheos says, "There is no other route to salvation than this." To overcome the trap of seeking our own will requires guidance. Otherwise who is guiding? Our own will. Do you see the error?  Even if we read about the good path from a saint, how are we going to know if we are doing it the way it should be done?

"May God shelter us from the danger of guiding ourselves, and make us worthy to follow the way of our fathers."

Reference: Abba Dorotheos: Practical Teaching on the Christian Life, pp 123-129

Avoiding Deception

In our spiritual life we need to be careful about our own judgments, decisions and self-evaluations.  Since there are evil powers at work, even with strong faith we can be misled.  You should always be aware of this reality.


Saint Theophan writes,

Secretiveness in everyday life is not a bad thing; in spiritual life, however, it is most dangerous. It is indispensable to have someone with whom you may consult about everything that is going on outwardly, and more importantly, inwardly.  ...There is some sort of evil power around us and inside us, which through various  illusionary qualities leads us into deception and confuses our affairs, directing them to something vain or even bad... Your reasoning does not always work, because the enemy confuses it with his own advice (our elders have nicknamed this "add-vice"). 

We should keep a journal so that when we see our spiritual father we can relate our difficulties to him and in this way he can best help us.  When we are making a big decision, especially those that impact others, in addition to prayer, we should discuss our reasoning with him also.  He will not tell you what decision to make, but will help you see if you are being deceived in your analysis.  Decision are always up to our own will.  Never allow a spiritual father to make your decisions.  Any advisor who would do this is not a true spiritual guide. Look to him for advice and not a decision. 


For most people your local priest can serve as your guide.  But as you progress spiritually you may need to find a new guide.  These are often found at monasteries.  Visit them and talk with the elders there.  A guide always comes naturally when you ask and seek.


Reference: The Spiritual Life, pp 277-280

The Need for a Spiritual Guide

Most of us when we set out to adopt an Orthodox way of life, do not immediately come under the direct guidance of God.  This is surely true in my case.  But there are some who do.  For example examine the life of St. Mary of Egypt, St. Paul of Thebes or St. Mark of Thrace.  They were saved through one decisive dedication of themselves to God.  But is not the normal path for most people.


Saint Theophan emphatically says,
Firm in that belief that only God converts, the penitent, in order to succeed, should without fail commit himself to a father and guide. This is necessary because we do not give ourselves totally to God...


A spiritual father is essential for us to find the true path.  We are engaged in a journey that is much like a a trip to a foreign land. In foreign territory we need someone to guide us.  You wouldn't think of taking off into the wilderness without a guide.  Neither should you think of engaging in a spiritual journey without a guide.


Saint Theophan says
Inside the beginner is fog, as from the steaming of stench and decay__from passions, unrighteous consequences and corrupted powers.  Everyone has this fog in greater or lesser density, depending on his former corruption.  How good and reliable is it to discriminate objects int his fog?...Only the experienced eye will be able to discern and explain what is going on.


I am continually amazed at how dumb I am in regards to my own spiritual journey.  What I once thought was the absolute truth later becomes a gross error.  One such case was my practice of the Jesus prayer.  I had turned it into a technique, much like Buddhist meditation. I was convinced that I know what I was doing until I asked for guidance from my spiritual guide.  At first I was hesitant but then I knew that I had to accept such guidance.  Very soon I knew the error of my way.  I would have never figured this out on my own due to my own prejudices and self-proclaimed expertise.


It is important when setting out on the Orthodox Way of Life to chose a guide and entrust yourself the them.  Once you seek one you will find one.  This is another spiritual truth.


Saint Theophan says,
Pray and the Lord will show you a guide.  Entrust yourself to this guide, and the Lord will teach him how to lead you.