Regaining Peace When Emotional

At sometime during our emotionally and time filled day we will most likely experience a moment when we simply lose it.  Out of frustration we may yell out. Out of anger we may say something we wish we had not said. The key to maintaining peace is to recognize when our emotions have taken over the normal functioning of our mind and body.

Emotions work very quickly in our body. It's part of a system of self-defense that God has given us, but it needs to be controlled and reserved for those times when we really are in danger.  Dr Antonio Damasio (The Feeling of What Happens) studied how emotions work in the the body. He found that first there is some input from our senses that serves as a trigger. This may be verbal attack on our self-esteem, a put down. It may be a challenge to our given authority, or a desire that is suddenly blocked. It may be a reprimand by a coworker or authority figure. When this event occurs we can easily loose it. In less than a second the brain sends commands to the other regions of the brain and almost everywhere in the body proper.  In the bloodstream commands are sent in the form of chemical molecules that act on receptors in the cell of body tissues. In the neuron pathways commands take the form of electrochemical signals which act on other neurons or muscular fibers or organs which in turn can release chemicals of their own into the bloodstream.  The result is a instantaneous change in the whole state of our biological system. Our heart rate will increase and other physical changes will take place.  It is only after all this takes place that we become aware of a feeling. The implication of this is that when we do experience extreme feelings we need to be aware that our body has been changed and is prepared for a fight. To act with a mind of peace, we need to intervene quickly in a way that will bring our system back to normal.

Here is the best way to do this. As soon as you recognize this change in state, stop what you are doing. Immediately begin saying the Jesus prayer. Excuse yourself from any further interaction before you act in a way that may get you into trouble. Now is the time to take a prayer walk. A prayer walk is when you walk and say the Jesus Prayer. With each step say one word of the prayer. Your whole body becomes the prayer. If you can, leave the building for a few minutes, all the time saying the prayer. When outside walk in cadence with the words of the prayer. In minutes you will be brought back to a peaceful state and you will be able think rationally again. Now you can choose how to enter the situation you were in when this was triggered. You may choose to not reenter. But now you are no longer a physical state prepared for a fight. You can again act with a peaceful mind.

This prayer walk is a most powerful tool. But to use it you must first establish a peaceful mind based on the daily practice of the Jesus Prayer.  With this practice you will also become watchful of all negative thoughts entering into your heart. You will be more aware of your mental state. But there will still be times when the body's defense system takes over where you need to make an intervention to maintain your peacefulness and Christian attitude. With this ability to be watchful will come the ability to know when to intercede and take a prayer walk. 

Whatever your state of spiritual development you will find the Jesus Prayer walk a useful way to bring you back in touch with God when you have separated from him based on emotions. Try it. 

Gaining Inner Peace

Many of us experience life filled with turmoil. Our inner thoughts rage from one issue to another. It may seem like there is never time to stop and reflect. Peace is something desired but rarely experienced. But peace is the message of Christ. Jesus said to his disciples before His crucifixion, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you" (John 14:7).  The Apostle Paul preached, "The peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ" (Phil 4:7). Our Christian faith is supposed to bring us peace, but yet even though we believe in Christ many seldom experience this peace. What is lacking?

The main issue is that our minds are too busy and we lack the ability to control our thoughts. This is a discipline we can learn through a combination of our own effort and God's grace. First, we should pray for inner peace. Second, we should examine our daily prayer rule and modify it.  Prayer combined with repentance can bring peace and help us develop the discipline to control our minds. With a mind under control we make better decisions that lead us to a more peaceful life.

From my own experience, the practice of the Jesus Prayer is the most important practice for those seeking inner peace. For this to be effective a considerable amount of time needs to be committed to its practice. It requires at least one-half hour each day in the beginning and more later.

The most difficult part of this practice is committing the time to do it each and every day, without exception. It must become a habit just like brushing your teeth. Each day you miss you will fall back at least three days. It is easiest to make this time available in the morning by deciding to get up one-half hour earlier. It is also the quietest time for your body as well as your surroundings. This of course means you will have to go to bed one-half hour earlier as well.  That is the hard part. Most likely you have a habit in the evening of relaxing, escaping the issues of the day, by watching a television program. This you will have to give up to make time for prayer.

Once you have made these decisions the rest is easy, as long as you have the inner desire for peace that comes from your faith in Christ. This is a practice of love of God.  It is motivated not just for relief from anxiety, but for a desire to walk your life in union with Christ and to experience the peace He had in all kinds of situations.

The prayer is simple, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner." You simply repeat it over and over. You begin your prayer time in a special quiet place where you have your icons and a candle which you can light before you begin. Take a few moment to quite your body and repeat the Trisagion prayer, then begin the repletion of the Jesus Prayer. Focus on the words. Say it aloud in the beginning. Don't try and rush. You have committed the time (You can set a timer so you know when the time is up) so there is no time pressure. Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica tells us, "We should say the words of the prayer knowing that the Lord sees us and He is listening to us."

Once you begin this discipline you will find that your mind is distracted by many thoughts. You will notice that you can observe yourself thinking. This is called the place of the silent witness, treasure it. When you encounter thoughts, you want to immediately and gently reject them and focus on the words of the Prayer. This is normal. You may discover some repeating thoughts related to an issue that requires forgiveness and repentance. If so, note it and seek forgiveness and arrange for the sacrament of Confession and determine actions to change this aspect of your behavior.  But, while in your prayer time, do not focus on any issues. This is not a time for problem solving. Try and focus only on the prayer with sincerity, love for God, and a contrite heart seeking His mercy. 

You will find this is difficult. Do not be discouraged as it is through difficulty that we progress and learn to control this wild activity of our mind. As they say, "No pain, no gain." You need to have persistence, endurance and faith that the Lord will help you. Remind yourself why you are engaging in this prayer life, you are seeking inner peace that comes from God for a life that is no longer filled with anxiety and turmoil but is lived with peace.

You also want to keep your focus on your heart and not on your head or brain. It is in the heart, the center of our soul, where Christ resides within us.  Elder Sophrony tells us, "Keep your mind firmly focused on God, and the moment will come when the immortal Spirit touches the heart." We are not to seek any experience in this effort other than silence and peace. We should also not try to create any images in our mind and should reject those that do come. Over time, you will begin to find silence in the space between the words as the mind becomes more controlled.

Also this prayer will become part of you and during the day you can seek out ways to repeat it often. Use it when you are feeling stressed, when you are bored or feel impatient. Fill you mind with God whenever you have a chance. Eventually this prayer will be with you throughout your day and will bring comfort and a recentering of your life on Christ. This will bring peace.

There are many articles on how to pray, but the most difficult aspect is to just do it.  Make the time! Make the commitment! Be consistent! After you begin and have made some effort for several months you will notice a change in your life. Thank God for this blessing.  At this time you may want to seek out some articles to give you encouragement.  These articles and more on the Jesus prayer can be found at OrthodoxPrayer.org.

Everyone can benefit from this practice. Its a part of our Orthodox Tradition. All it takes is your commitment to make time for it.

Let's all pray that the Lord will bring us all a quiet mind filled with peace. When this happens we will have peace in the world. 

Anxiety and the Simple Life

Why is it that there is so much anxiety in daily lives? Usually anxiety arises when things are not going the way we think they should. To take a very simple example, we were troubled by a new refrigerator that made some loud and unusual noises. The old one worked fine but we wanted more space. We had spent a good sum of money for this new device and expected it to make our lives better, but instead, it became a very annoying device. We called the repair man and he came out and told us the noise was a normal one. Well, we knew it was not normal. So now, with a bit an anxiousness, we think  about what to do. Did we make a big mistake in this purchase? What can we do to resolve this new irritant in our lives? We call the person who sold it to us to see what recourse we had to correct this problem. In the meantime this issue lingers in our mind about how we are going to resolve it. For us the noise was unacceptable, and we felt it was unfair to expect us to accept this kind of performance from a new refrigerator. But how were we going to get a company like GE to do something about it? To make a long story short, eventually we did resolve the problem but there was a lot of  energy put into getting it resolved. Plus many idle conversations were had over this. 

Our lives are filled with much more serious events than this one that cause anxiety, but they all add up and we feel like we are suffering from something we cannot quite describe. When we are anxious, our demeanor suffers and our relationships with others suffer which adds to our anxiety. Also, and most importantly, our spiritual life is degraded and we lose site our our true purpose. We find ourselves focused on ourselves and mundane issues of a material world trying to get everything around us to go the way we want it. 

This is the basic problem with our materialistic way of life coupled with our self-centeredness. We want everything to obey our commands including mother nature.

Elder Paisios says the following:

People today have made their lives difficult, because they are not satisfied with a few things, but are constantly chasing after more and more material goods. 

So how do we deal with this fact of modern life? We can't all go off to a monastery and escape. The key is to not set such high expectations out of this material world and set our hopes instead on the life to come. We can learn to strive less for material well being and begin to strive more for spiritual well being.

Elder Paisios says,

Those who would like to live a genuine spiritual life must first of all be satisfied with a few things. When their life is simplified without too many concerns and nuances, not only will they be liberated from the worldly spirit, they will also have plenty of time available for spiritual things. Otherwise they will tire themselves out by trying to follow the fashion of the times; they will lose their serenity and will gain only great anxiety. 

All the fancy things we pile onto our life adds to its complexity. You can do something as simple as install a new carpet and then find you begin to worry about it getting soiled and start tormenting all who come through your house. Just because of a carpet! 

We can learn to seek simple and practical material goods, things that make our life easier with less hassle. This is not a simple task but one worthwhile pursuing. Keep life simple and you will find you have more energy for the spiritual life which will bring you great rewards and joy instead of anxiety.

Identify things you do not really need. Seek a smaller house rather than a large one. Identify at least one activity that you can withdraw from to make more free time in your life. Identify one relationship you need to sever. Make time for and build a habit of daily prayer. Simplify your daily menu and follow the fasting guidelines. Repent continually and participate in the life giving sacrament of Holy Communion. With a little effort you can begin to change your way of life towards one that demands less rather then more. The monetary surplus that emerges you can use to help those who are disadvantaged and who cannot meet the minimal material needs of daily life. This is the right path. This is the Orthodox way of life.

Ten Points for Living an Orthodox Way of Life.

Reference: Elder Paisios of Mount Athos Spiritual Counsels IV: Family Life, p 160