How are Retarded Children Treated Spiritually?

According the Elder Paisios parents should have joy for their mentally challenged children.  Here is why.

Parents who have retarded children, must not feel sad for them, because their souls are already saved.  On the contrary, they must be happy, because their children, without making any efforts, have earned paradise.  What else can parents wish for their children?  If they face their child's defect in a spiritual way, they are also benefited and rewarded by God.

Reference: Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain, p 138 

Advice for Someone in Beginning of Spiritual LIfe

Frequently when we are beginning our spiritual journey we put emphasis on study.  Some strive to read all the books we can.  Beware, as this can be a mistake.  Spiritual growth comes from a keen understanding of ourselves.  Reading and studying often only postpones the work we need to do to know the causes of our own actions.  


Here is some advice from Elder Paisios,

When someone is in the beginning of his spiritual life, he should not study a lot, but instead watch himself and observe his thoughts.

This does require time for introspection and a mind that is not too busy.  This is why it is also important to begin a regular prayer life that includes a practice like praying the Jesus Prayer.  Of course, we need to know the details of our faith and the teachings of the Scripture.  But, in the end we need to know our own weaknesses, prejudices, and habits so we can consciously seek help to change our behaviors to live the virtues that Jesus taught us.


Reference: Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain, p 131

Advice for a Married Couple

It is important for a  married couple to grow together in their spiritual life.  They should pray together and also have the same spiritual father who can guide them as a couple.


Here is the advice form Elder Paisios,

It is for the benefit of the married couple to have the same spiritual father.  He acts in the same way as the carpenter does, when he wants to join two pieces of wood.  He cuts off the knobs, so the two pieces become smooth and can be easily collated.

It is best for all the members of the family to have the same spiritual father, so he will know their problems and be able to give proper advice to each one of them.

Reference: Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain, p 130 - 131 

In Face of Injustice How Do We Explain Divine Justice?

The following is a story told by Elder Paisios about a man who was seeking to understand the nature of Divine Justice.  The man's elder sent him to observe life from a hidden place and here is what He saw.


First, he saw a rich man stop along the road where there was a spring for a rest.  He watched him take out his purse and count 100 gold coins.  But, when he got back on his horse he absentmindedly left his purse lying there.  Later, another man comes along and finds the purse and immediately takes off with it.  Next, a poor man comes and sits down in the same spot to eat some bread.  About this time the rich returns to retrieve his lost purse.  He finds the poor man there who knows nothing about the purse. Thinking the poor man was lying, the rich man beats him thinking he stole the purse. He beat him so badly that he died. But when he examines his pockets he does not find the purse.


The man sent to observe life turned to the Lord in prayer saying: "Lord, what is the meaning of this Will of yours? Please explain how Your Benevolence can tolerate such injustice?"  A angel of the Lord then answered him as follows:

"Of all the things you just witnessed, some were by God's concession, others were for education, and others had providential reasons.  He who lost the coins was the neighbor of the one who found them.  The latter had an orchard worth 100 gold coins.  Being greedy, the rich man forced him to sell it for only 50 coins.  The disadvantaged man turned to God in prayer and asked for God to take care of this injustice. Therefore his discovery of the purse with the 100 gold coins was God's providence which had responded to his prayer to give him his money back two fold."

"The poor man who was murdered unjustly also committed murder once in his life.  He had repented and afterwards lived a God pleasing life.  He constantly asked God to forgive him for the murder and to give him a death just like the one he had inflicted."

"Naturally, the Lord forgave him based on his repentance.  God was moved by his sincerity and his efforts to live a life according to His commandments and his desire to pay for his crime.  Thus the Lord granted him his wish and allowed  him to die a violent death and then took him into His bosom.

Finally, the greedy man who lost all his gold coins and then committed the murder would have a disastrous end due to his greed and love of money. God therefore allowed him to fall into the sin of murder so that his soul would be severely pained and he would seek to repent. The result was that this person did repent and abandoned all worldly pleasures and become a monk.

"Now in which of these cases did you find God to be unjust or cruel or insensitive?"

This is the nature of Divine Justice.  You must not concern yourself with in-depth examination of God's judgments, because He metes them out fairly, in the manner that He deems appropriate, when you on the other hand misconstrue them as injustices.

Key to Humility - Knowing our Weaknesses

One who is humble is one who can admit his mistakes.  Elder Paisios takes this one step further and says its even better to be aware of our weaknesses.

He says,

The one who realizes his mistakes, has already progressed half way.  However, it is also very important for him to sense his weaknesses.  It is much better to be aware of our own weaknesses, than to struggle very hard, while neglecting it.

Why is this so important?  Because when we know our weaknesses, then, we have a chance of avoiding our mistakes.  For example, if we have a problem with drinking too much, we can stay away from activities that encourage drinking.  If we are prone to become argumentative then we can avoid the friends or TV commentators that encourage this.  Once we know our weaknesses, we can arrange our life to avoid those situations where our weakness leads us to mistakes.


Reference: Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain, p 130

Why We Can't Get Rid of A Passion even When We Struggle Against It.

It is a common complaint that even when one struggles to rid themselves of a passion it just wont go away.  The more we struggle our passion seems to get more intense.  Why is this so?  Why does it not just disappear based on our efforts?

Elder Paisios has this to say,

We should know that when we strive to free ourselves from a passion and it doesn't go away, it is either because we have egoism and pride, or because we criticize and condemn our fellow workers.

Is it not true that the things we don't like in ourselves we condemn in others?  Do you see what this is doing to us?  As we judge others the standard for our own behavior increases and we sub-consciously justify our own condition with the failings of others.  We are put ourselves above others in our criticism of them.  As a result we develop even greater pride.  Then, when we think we are making progress, we may feel superior to others and criticize them even more.  Have you noticed how those who attend Church every Sunday tend to be the ones who criticism those who only come periodically?  Isn't it the recent convert that tends to have the most vocal criticism of those who are not Orthodox or even of his fellow Orthodox parishioners? Isn't the smoker who has just quit the most vocal about how nasty a habit it is and is the one who campaigns to stop others from smoking?  It is this judgmental orientation that makes our struggle so difficult.  We make a personal effort filled with pride.  As we exert our self-will the passion only gets stronger and more difficult to eliminate because of our pride.  


When we humble ourselves and seek forgiveness and help from God, we receive His grace which helps us overcome the passion we are attacking.


A final thought from the Elder,

You should struggle while you are young, because when you get older you can do nothing; older people get annoyed even at the draft coming through a keyhole.

Reference: Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain, p 127

Beware of Teaching Children Pride.

Most of us parents are very proud of our children.  We are continually reinforcing their accomplishments with praise and telling them how wonderful they are.  But is this heathy for them?  This is a question that surely will draw much discussion and differing viewpoints.

Here is what Elder Paisios has to say,

Many parents, thinking they dearly love their children, end up destroying them without realizing it.  For example, a mother, who excessively loves her daughter, tells her while holding her in her arms: "I have the best chid in the world."  Therefore, from a very young age (when a child is unable to realize it and react against it) the child acquires a haughty mind-set and believes she is a nice person.  As a result, she is unable to sense the lack of God's presence and his benevolent power in her life and of course, cannot learn to ask for Him.  Consequently, she develops a self-confidence as stiff as marble, which often never goes away, since, as the time goes by, it becomes very difficult to get rid of it.

The challenge of a parent is to help their child develop a healthy self-esteem which includes humility, while teaching them that all comes from God.  Truly, we are all God's children and everything we have and can do comes from Him.  It is important to remember to thank Him for the gifts He gives us and out ability to develop and apply them.  Pride develops when we think our accomplishments are all our doing or that we are inherently better than others.

How about the extreme emphasis on sports and it competitiveness?  A recent survey showed that those who participate in the major sports of baseball, basketball or football are more likely to cheat in school.  These activities which emphasize personal accomplishment independent of God can lead our children away from God making it more difficult for them in later life to repent and come closer to God.

We as parents have an awesome responsibly.  First we have to develop humility ourselves.

Elder Paisios says,

Parents must look after their spiritual life, because apart from themselves, they are also responsible for their children.  Of course, they have the excuse of having inherited their negative traits fromt ehir own parents; they have no excuse, however, for not trying to get rid of them, once they become aware of their existence.

Work continually on your own relationship with God and you will continually become a better parent.